Heartbreak Detox Blog
Posted on October 12, 2015 by Jackie DeKnock No comments
GOURMET LOVE
“Spreading the love, one recipe at a time!”
The back-story that inspired the menu that inspired the recipes! Foodie and Love stories combining love, romance, and adventure (remember this is all fiction my friends)! Let me take my paintbrush, paint the scene and the mood to take you there…
Inspired quotes to love by: “Everything in life can be taken away from you EXCEPT for your freedom to choose how you respond.” ~ Victor Frankel
“Single doesn’t mean that you don’t anything about love, it just means you know enough to wait for it.” ~ Unknown
LOVE DATELINE: I Moved Into Heartbreak Hotel
Where: Anywhere on the planet
When: Anytime on the planet
Mood: Heartache
Emotion: Sadness
Heartbreak Detox Menu – How It Came To Be
Casa Nova broke my heart, pure and simple (no it wasn’t simple and it for sure wasn’t pure at all). There, I said it and I wrote it. He just wasn’t the person I thought he was unfortunately. Ladies, always trust your intuition, your gut, if you feel something isn’t quite right and if he appears ‘to good to be true’ – there’s a reason, pay attention. I felt all of this, but yet I chose to ignore it. I won’t go into detail here, I’d rather talk about moving ahead and the healing process versus the painful past. I was in desperate need of Heartbreak Detox immediately to end the pain. I couldn’t escape and runaway to a deserted island – no matter how much I wanted to. No. I had to stay put, face the music head on and deal with it. It took a long while to come to terms with everything over the last year or so. During that time I ‘wrote the book’ on heartbreak and how to heal it. I also went back to my recipe archives and found this delicious comforting SuperFoods Menu that I had taught in my cooking classes. I knew that it was the right healing menu for me and my sad broken heart, it’s a ‘feel-good’ comfort menu. Yes, I cried in my soup and as I ate the entire meal, but I got through it. It was the perfect healthy, comfort food menu for me and I know that it will be perfect for you. The great news is that I lived through the pain of my heartbreak to tell the story and share my recipes – I healed my heart, I healed my spirit and I came ‘back to life’ again. I also found it deep in my heart to forgive him for my heartbreak and one day I’m hoping to be able to thank him (that will happen when I can reflect back on my life and connect the dots). I’m also so happy to share my Detox Steps here, right now with you, they worked and I survived, sitting comfortably on the other side! Pull up a chair…
The Pain is Real, I Know.
First things first – the pain is real, it hurts in every way imaginable – emotionally and yes physically. There’s no denying the pain. This article helped me to understand what was going on with my body at the same time that my heart was breaking:
http://elitedaily.com/dating/scientific-reasons-why-a-broken-heart-is-really-bad-for-you/970609/
What I Also Discovered About Myself
I’m sharing this because you can possibly relate (not that I’m proud of this). I had no idea that I had such a repertoire of four letter words in my vocabulary that I could use to describe my sad, pathetic relationship with Casa Nova. I had no idea that I could use the ‘F’ word up to four times (sometimes more) in one sentence to describe the guy (I won’t call him a man). I had never used language in this way before in my life – I was always the consummate lady. Perhaps you can relate. It actually helped for me to vent and to let it all out – whatever works at the time (it’s like using a punching bag, but without breaking a fingernail and who wants to break a nail over him)! I’m past this phase thank goodness, my language now returned to ‘normal.’ C’est la f%&*ing vie I say to myself. Oops, did I say that out-loud, sorry about that, I’m trying to clean up my act, forgive me. I just want to be love again…I’ll get there in time.
You
Now over to you! You have choices in how you proceed…everyone’s different. So…take my advice if you like. Spend a weekend (to months) in hibernation as I did. Or spend time with the girls, eating junk food, talking all night, getting wasted, smoking cigarettes, trashing all men on the planet (and maybe in outer space too if you want to go that far). Just remember that not all men are cut from the same cloth. Do whatever works for you and get it all out of your system. Then once the initial shock has eased off a tiny little bit, then its time to get down to the business of Heartbreak Detox!! It helped me so much and I have to share with you. Here’s how to go about it!
Heartbreak Detox 10-Step Program:
Step 1:
Eat – No, NOT binge eating crazy tubs of ice cream, chocolate bars, bags of chips – although you might feel like it (I sure did occasionally at first, but eventually I restrained myself). Or you may not feel like eating at all as I more frequently did, I had lost my appetite. Food always helps though, it nourishes the soul. However…it’s only the ‘right’ kind of nutritious food that will make you feel healthy and good about yourself. There will never be a better time to indulge your taste for comfort food than when you’re recovering from a breakup. Don’t go crazy—you don’t want to conquer heartbreak only to find that you’ve gained 20 pounds—but don’t feel you have to deny yourself, either. You’re worth it; so take the time to make this SuperFoods Menu for yourself and your girlfriends! Savour each bite to get the most satisfaction from each dish. Go on. You know you want to. And the good news is that absolutely every single dish can be frozen – so make it once, make extra, portion out and freeze. Voila, healthy meals in your freezer on the ready for you for the days when you just don’t feel like doing much of anything!
Step 2:
Drink – No, NOT wine by the jug, nor Cosmos by the gallon, nor coffee by the carafe (OK maybe a little bit in small doses). Drink ‘feel good’ drinks like lots of water with lemon slices (a liver detox), along with comfort teas like Green Tea or Chamomile that will relax you.
Step 3:
Write – YES! Write all of your thoughts down in a journal. Just start free writing, whatever comes to mind, without giving thought to what you are jotting down. Putting pen to paper is an incredible way to process what has happened, to come to terms with all of it and to start the healing process. Personally, when I wrote, it was like going to a therapy session, actually better! It felt great to get my thoughts out of my head and down on paper. And if you’re up for it, write him a letter. It doesn’t have to be put into the post or sent via email; it’s just good to get your thoughts down onto paper. Here’s a great farewell letter that I found online ‘Letter to Mr Wrong’. Did I ever write to Casa Nova…yes I did and it felt so much better. Maybe one day I’ll share it with you when I know you better.
Step 4:
Meditate – Try it! I know this is difficult for many people and I’m no expert. Just give it a try – lie down, relax, close your eyes, try to empty your mind and listen to the words. To me meditation is better than Valium, not that I’ve ever tried it! I simply feel so incredibly relaxed after a meditation session. It’s difficult to imagine how good it is until you try it. Here are some amazing web sites to check out. Or you can do your own search in Google – ‘Guided Meditation on YouTube for XYZ’ (name a subject from sleep to anxiety to nervousness to feeling good to being at peace and you’ll find a meditation to match whatever your heart desires).
Guided Meditation Recommendation Lists to check out:
http://www.ilivethelifeilove.com/10-best-guided-meditations/
http://www.mindfulmuscle.com/5-top-guided-meditations/
Peace:
Secret Garden Escape:
http://www.meditainment.com/the-secret-garden/#
Concentration & Focus:
Step 5:
Get Outdoors – If you are anything like me, when heartbreak came knocking my your door I just wanted to go straight into hibernation (and never answer my door again). Do not pass GO, do not collect $100 (remember the board game Monopoly)? You want to cry, to be alone, in the dark with your thoughts, curled up in ball, covers over head, box of kleenix at hand. OK. Here’s the deal, I spent a weekend (and longer) in isolation in the dark with my thoughts and my box of kleenix. And then I picked myself up, brushed myself off, laced up my hiking boots and took a step out into the world. I had to remind myself just how amazing our planet is that we inhabit! It’s easy to forget when you’re in the midst of the darkness of heartbreak. My walks in nature were healing walks of art, breathing life back into my heartbroken body. It worked, believe me.
Step 6:
Talk – Talk to your family, your friends, your mailman (he reads your mail anyway, so he knows the story) – anyone who will listen. It’s good to get everything out onto the table, off your chest and share your feelings. You may not even be seeking advice, just speak and get it all out. There, that feels better already. Just make sure that you have a good phone plan – talk is not always cheap!
Step 7:
Take Care of Yourself
Pamper Yourself – manicure/pedicure, spa, massage.
Exercise – I started hiking and I plan to start working out next – a good serving of endorphins on the menu!
Travel – I couldn’t escape to a deserted island alone and stay there forever, so instead I travelled with my son to Spain to do a spiritual pilgrimage – el Camino anyone?
Step 8:
Sleep – You desperately need sleep, heartbreak is exhausting. I was like a walking zombie, completely sleep-deprived, but yet somehow still functioning. Waking up at all hours of the night wondering if life is but a dream or a nightmare? Yes, the escape of sleep was always welcome. Try out these meditations specifically designed for sleep. If anything the voices will put you to sleep. It’s worth a try…
Sleep Meditation:
Good Dreams Meditation:
Step 9:
Take up Arts or Hobbies – One of my absolute favourite ways to spend my time was listening to music and dancing. It was so good for my soul, it really was the ‘magic pill’ for me. In fact, it helped me so much that I decided to start singing lessons (actually it was more like my son decided and signed me up for singing lessons). I’m so glad that he did, it drew me out of myself. Thanks my son! I came a long way, singing was like therapy for me, my playlist says it all.
My first song was ‘Just One Look’ by fellow Canadian Anne Murray (the lyrics will tell it all, I fell hard) – check it out:
My latest song ‘No Good Woman’ by another fellow Canadian Elise LeGrow is at
I couldn’t have said it better than she did! Its like singing therapy, I promise you!
Step 10: Advanced Program – SIGN UP HERE, SPOTS STILL LEFT (OH, AND ITS FREE)!
Figure Out The Lesson – I believe that absolutely everyone comes into our lives to serve up some sort of a purpose (yep even ass%@$es). Dig deep and figure out the lesson from the heartbreak. It’s like an archaeological dig, it can take time as sometimes you have absolutely no freakin’ idea why in Sam Hill you met?! I know “love lost” is unbearably painful, I’ve lived it, but you will figure out the lesson. In my case, after much digging, I struck gold, the reason! Eureka! I realized that he was the catalyst for my personal growth and to change the direction of my life. And most importantly, he played a key role in my becoming a whole and complete person. Thank you Casa Nova for helping me to realize that I am a complete person standing on my own two feet and that I didn’t really need you in my life at all, EVER (OK I take that last part back…still a little bitter maybe, but getting over it)!
Accept, Move On, Don’t Waste Time – Life is short, don’t waste irreplaceable time on fools (like I did). I know, easier said than done. You are too good to get hung up on someone who isn’t who you thought they were. Dwelling on him and the past takes up valuable psychic energy and sets you back (I know, been there, done that). If you’re fixated on him, your heart isn’t open to meet the new man of your dreams. The thing is that when you are emotionally blue, the male species can tell – its like radar. So, think about the lesson from your ex, thank him to the sky and shake it/him off. Then pick yourself up and live your life! Life is short, this is not a dress rehearsal!! It’s all about mindset and living what you were born to live! Put your dress on and get out there and start living!
Be Positive – Expect good things to come your way. Expect that your life will turn around and you will meet the man of your dreams. Thoughts become things – a positive attitude has everything to do with the vibe that you’re putting out there! So…now, time to get out there, we all know the law of averages. The more interactions you have, the higher your chances are of meeting him! Put a smile on your face, deep breath and ‘fake it til you make it’ as they say. Believe in yourself again, it (he) will come riding in on a big white horse (OK maybe that just happens in the movies or if you live on a farm)!
Forgive – In time you will hopefully want to forgive him and just let it all go. Never forget the lesson (so you don’t repeat it), but try to find it in your heart to forgive. Hanging on tightly to bitterness and resentment towards your ex is never a good thing (it’s like drinking poison). Let all of that dissolve and find forgiveness and peace instead if you can. A life of peace is so much better than the alternative. Trust me, I found forgiveness in my heart and I now feel as light as a feather. Casa Nova, I forgive you, however, I won’t forget…NEVER (oh and I don’t know if I can be your friend just yet either)!
Love Yourself – Love yourself completely and open your heart to love again. Listen to this great oldie feel-good song as many times as you need too. It was like medicine for me – listen and you’ll see! ‘Put A Little Love in Your Heart! by Jackie DeShannon
And one more classic song for your Heartbreak Detox Playlist Get Up Stand Up by Bob Marley. You’ll find all of these songs and more in the Music Playlist…music is a great healer.
Last but not least, live the life you love – visit this web site to hear the powerful message it conveys:
http://www.ilivethelifeilove.com/10-best-guided-meditations/
Hungry for more…
Dash over to this web page, it’s amazingly helpful!
http://thinksimplenow.com/relationships/how-to-get-over-breakups/
Life is short, be love, find love!
XO
PS Love your food, what comes from the heart touches the heart! Craving isn’t a ‘Bad Word,’ food IS sexy!
PSS I came up with this handy wallet-sized ‘Manly Ranking Scale’ – pull it out when you need it! It’s similar to the Richter Magnitude Scale that measures earthquakes (the idea came to me as I survived a major earthquake in Vegas years ago). I’ll grade each man of my life at the time of my Love Dateline story! Feel free to grade the man of your life, If he’s a +10 (and I hope he is), I’d say go for it!:
Yes, I admit that I needed help to recover from Casa Nova’s heartbreak. I created my own 10-step heartbreak detox program and lived to tell the tale!
Check out the complete “Heartbreak Detox” menu
Foodie Dateline: SuperFoods
Where: Mount Pleasant Culinary Studio
When: New Years Eve 2011
Mood: Happy anticipation of a brilliant New Year
Emotion: Joy
New Years Detox & Resolution
I was happy when the clock struck midnight and New Year’s Eve rolled around. It had already been a long, cold winter…brrr. Once January arrives I start anticipating the end of winter, always the eternal optimist! Considering that it was winter and post holiday season, I decided that I would create a heart-warming Comfort Food Detox Menu for my cooking classes! Just what everyone needed after the holiday season – a food Detox! I had studied Introductory Holistic Nutrition, so I have a base of knowledge and insight into food and nutrition. I zeroed in on the popular “SuperFoods” trend and spent a lot of time doing Internet research to zero in on each and every ingredient. There are at least 10 super foods to incorporate into your diet to naturally ward off heart disease, cancer, cholesterol, and more. Then I went to my library of recipes and matched ingredients with my favourite recipes. Then I set to work to create a delicious menu incorporating as many of the SuperFoods that I could squeeze into one yummy meal. Painstaking work to bring it all together – true – but as I created the menu everything just married together so well. It became not only the best SuperFoods Menu, but actually the ‘best’ menu of all of my cooking classes. Wow, delicious and nutritious all rolled into one ‘Super’ menu! Make this for yourself and feel better!! Enjoy and take care of you. Nourish your soul with food.
This famous quote from Hippocrates says it all:
XO